Out of the Seventies
by Disco-Freak
Summary: Okay, so the first chapter thingy is just character biographies, since i hate reading stories where you don't know the characters. but after that, it's a full script and so far, i think it's okay. i'd really appreciate andy review and comments!
1. Prologue Where they are now

**Prologue**

In this story, (it will be in script format), it will take place in the 21st century, after the gang has had their kids. I realize that sometimes these stories don't work out too well, but you know, I had an idea and I figured it'd be a waste not to use it. So, wish me luck!

**The Old Gang**

**Jackie:** broke up with Fez because she still loved Hyde, and they eventually got married. But, here's the thing: before she and Hyde got back together, she had a one night stand with a guy named Dave, and she got pregnant. She also had kids with Hyde...

**Hyde: **of course, he and Jackie got back together and married, and you know the drill. The fairytale ending that Jackie was always blabbing about. Now, Hyde's pressured about being a father to his kids, and Jackie's other child. There's also the issue about the circle, and the possibility of getting caught by his kids.

**Kelso: **he and Brooke ended up getting together again and one thing led to another, and Brooke became pregnant. Again. So, she got fed up and left with Betsy, but Kelso wasn't too happy about that. In the end, she came back and the two of them are dating, and raising their kids together, but are not married.

**Fez: **ended up marrying a girl that he met after the show ended, and her name was Miranda. For some reason, they couldn't have kids, so they adopted one from China. Another thing to note is that he still has 'needs' that he needs to fulfil, but Miranda isn't always willing to do it for him, so he constantly hits on Donna.

**Donna: **as could be expected, married Eric after he got back from Africa. They have a couple kids, and are basically living the life that Red and Kitty wanted for them. Donna, however, isn't all that thrilled about having that life, because she isn't the primary money-supplier. She is looking for a job that could get her somewhere, and isn't always in the happiest of moods.

**Eric: **is as happy as could be with his life, now as a teacher for eleven year old kids. He is just as geeky as he used to be, but now as an added plus, he gets to wear a tie every day to work, and to top it off, each one has a different superhero or Star Wars character on it. He is a real family man, and is trying really hard not to be a hard ass like Red was.

**Red and Kitty:** they are happy living in the same house in Wisconsin, and Kitty is overjoyed that the entire gang hasn't left the area. Red is furious however, that the new kids (his grandchildren for example), are now hanging out in his basement. Kitty is happy that her babies are still there, and loves babying them.

**The New Gang**

**Coven Burkhart:** is Jackie's 18 year old son that she had with Dave. He is almost never home, and nobody really knows where he is, because he is somewhat depressed. He really wants to find his dad, and figure out everything about his past that Jackie refused to tell him, but isn't doing very well. He doesn't really like anybody, especially Hyde because he's just trying to be the dad that Coven never had.

**Luke Forman: **is Eric and Donna's 17 year old son who almost as impressed that his name is Luke (after Skywalker), as Eric is that Donna let him name their son that. He is a grade 'A' geek, like his father, and looks just like his dad used to , except for the fact that his hair is red, and he is tall.

**Claire Forman: **is Eric and Donna's 15 year old daughter who is really weird. She sees feminist values, but dresses like a total hippie, with flowers, long hair, and everything. She looks like her mom, but her hair is waist length and wavy, and she always wears tons of bracelets and clips in her hair. She is dating Scott Hyde, which her parents don't approve of, but it happens...

**Scott Hyde: **is Jackie and Hyde's first born child. He is 16 years old, and is basically an exact replica of his father, but even more of a rebel. He has straight brown hair, but it is dyed black, and is always gelled straight up. He has a gold hoop earring in his left ear, and always wears jeans and a band t-shirt. He is on drugs, just like his dad, but now that the times have changed, and the drugs are even more illegal, he could be in for it bigtime.

**Bri Hyde: **is Jackie and Hyde's 15 year old daughter who happens to be a cheerleader. She looks just like her mother did, except she's got her father's blue eyes. She isn't as demanding as her mother was, but she makes up for it with her 'girlyness'. She is pretty bitchy at times, and gets on everybody's nerves.

**Melissa Hyde:** the youngest member of the gang, and Jackie and Hyde's youngest child. She was actually an accident, and she was born in 1991, six years after her sister, making her 9 years old. She is definitely 'Daddy's little girl', and is basically the sweetest little kid in the world. She is incredibly funny, and witty, and is often made fun of by the rest of the gang, because of her talent of getting on Jackie and Hyde's good sides.

**Eleni ???: **is Fez and Miranda's 18 year old daughter. She is just about to graduate from high-school, and is extremely smart. She is planning to go to Harvard or Princeton in the fall, and nothing will stand in her way to getting into one of those universities. She is a bookworm, and is almost always reading a book in the basement of the Forman's house.

**James Kelso: **is Kelso's son who is 16 years old. He is stupid, just like Kelso was as a kid, but for some reason, he ended up extremely athletic. He is really good-looking too, and always has girls fawning over him, but his current girlfriend is Bri Hyde. He likes her a lot, and would do anything for her, but unfortunately, anything is a lot of things. Like going out and getting a job at a Flower shop where he discovered that he was allergic to pollen.

Well, I seriously hope you like the sounds of where my story is heading. Please tell me anything that I should fix, or put in, and any ideas for my actual story would be greatly appreciated. Also, I hope you enjoyed hearing about the characters futures, I thought that they ended the series on a really bad note, and that the characters ended up nowhere...so, ENJOY!


	2. This is How You Remind Me

**This is How You Remind Me** -Nickelback

_Disclaimer: I do not own That 70s Show or any of it's characters, but I do own the rights to this story, and my added characters, and it's new plot. So please, do not sue me or anything because by rights, I didn't do anything wrong._

_(The scene starts out in Red and Kitty Forman's kitchen. Red and Kitty are there, along with the whole gang, who are now about 40 years old...) _

**Kitty:** Isn't it nice, having everybody in my kitchen again? It's so much fun! _(she claps her hands together, and laughs)_

**Red:** Yes, it's great Kitty, but I would have thought that Eric and his reign of dumbasses would have left by now.

**Kitty:** Well, they have. They don't live in the house anymore.

**Red:** They live down the street. It's like they never grew up, and are still here, making Point Place, Wisconsin stupider than ever.

**Eric:** Dad, we're right here.

**The rest of the gang:** _(mutters in agreement with Eric)_

**Red:** Shut up.

**Kitty:** Now Red, the kids downstairs might hear you! I don't want my precious grandchildren hearing their grandpa Red talking with a dirty mouth.

**Jackie:** Mrs. Forman, they're all over the age of 15. Except Melissa. Trust me, they've heard it. _(she glares at Hyde, who shrugs in return)_

**Kelso:** I don't think James has ever heard me use a bad word.

**Hyde:** How lame are you?

**Kelso:** I'm not.

**Red:** _(starts to laugh evilly)_ Oh, yes you are.

**Kelso:** Ugh! Well, I've got to go to work.

**Donna:** Yeah, we're still processing the fact that you got your job at the police academy back.

It's really hard to believe that they took you back after setting the whole building on fire.

**Kelso:** Donna, that was a long time ago. When I was younger and stupider.

**Red:** You mean when you were younger.

**Fez:** Oh, I get it!

**Eric:** Way to go Fez. You've gotten the hang of understanding jokes. How many years did it take? Twenty?

**Fez:** Do not speak to me. Come Miranda. _(he leaves through the back doors, and pulls Miranda with him; Kelso leaves as well)_

**Donna:** Well, I'd better get going too. You know, finding a job. What real women should have. Jackie. Get a job!

**Jackie:** I don't need a job. Jobs are for poor people.

**Donna:** And for women with pride.

**Jackie:** Yeah, go get a job Donna.

**Donna:** Bye. _(she leaves as well, pulling Eric by the collar)_

**Eric:** Okay, I guess that means I'm leaving too, huh. Oh yeah, and mom?

**Kitty:** Yes, sweetie?

**Eric:** I don't think Donna's going to be cooking again tonight. She's moody.

**Kitty:** Don't worry, I'll feed Luke and Claire._ (Eric is gone)_

**Red:** _(he sighs)_ Kitty. We are getting older. I'm retired, and you don't work at the hospital anymore. We don't have enough money to feed all of the children who seek refuge in this house. We're like the damn Salvation Army.

**Hyde:** I can see that this conversation is going to get messy. So, Jackie and I are going to go, and, umm, leave._ (Jackie and Hyde exit the scene)_

**Kitty:** Now see what you've done Red Forman? That's the last them, all gone for the night.

**Red:** See, no it's not. Eric and Donna are going to come back to pick up their kids, and Jackie and Steven are going to realize that theirs are still in our basement as well, smoking something weird for all I know. Well, Scott at least. The foreign guy will come back to get Eleni, since the girl won't leave until the last chapter of her book is done, and Kelso always comes back. I don't even think his kid is here today, and he'll be back.

**Kitty:** Well, they kids are staying for dinner. We can afford it for one night.

**Red:** We've resorted to feeding them three times a week. There's more kids than there used to be, Kitty, and that's not even when the dumbasses come as well. Once again, I am not fing Santa Claus!

**Kitty:** Oh, you'll always be my Santa Claus! Hahaha! _(they run out of the kitchen, smiling)_

_(the scene cuts, and the theme song starts)_

_(the next scene starts, and the new gang are hanging out in the basement; in Hyde's old chair is Scott with Claire on his lap; on the couch are James, with his arm around Bri, and Eleni who is reading; sitting on a black recliner beside the couch is Luke, and on the floor watching television is Melissa; Coven is not there)_

**Luke:** So, what do you guys figure the dorks upstairs are talking about?

**James:** _(laughing hysterically as Luke says this)_ Do you know what a dork is, Luke?

**Luke:** Yeah. I know. It's got two meanings.

**James:** Yeah!

**Bri:** James, I told you, you can't talk about that kind of thing in my presence. It's just not right.

**James:** Sorry.

**Scott:** God, you are so stupid. Why would you go out with someone who is so controlling?

**Luke:** Who are you to talk? You're with my sister. Claire. My sister. Why is the world so cruel?

**Claire:** Shut up Luke. You're only saying that because you hate the fact that your little sister has a boyfriend and you don't.

**Luke:** Why would I want a boyfriend?

**James:** Maybe because your sexual preferences are different than they should be, Luke.

**Bri:** Eww!

**Melissa:** _(looking away from the televison) _What's a sexual preference?

**Claire:** It's whether people like boys or girls better. Dating wise.

**Melissa:** Okay._ (she looks back at the television)_

**Luke:** What are you watching?

**Bri:** She's watching Power Rangers. Again.

**Scott:** Wow. Power Rangers. They most pointless show on the history of the planet, shown at least once a day in this hellhole where we spend all of our time.

**Bri:** God, Melissa, why don't you ever watch anything other than Power Rangers? It's so stupid.

**Melissa:** Because! I like it.

**Claire:** You've gotta admit, the guy in red is hot.

**Scott:** Oh, really.

**Claire:** Not hotter than you.

**James:** _(to Bri)_ Do you think I'm hotter than the red Power Ranger?

**Bri:** No.

**James:** Ugh!

**Eleni:** _(finally looking up from her book)_ Could you all be quiet? I'm trying to read.

**Everyone else:** No. Read somewhere else.

**Eleni:** _(rolls her eyes and goes back to her book)_

**Bri:** So, what are we going to do today?

**Scott:** Avoid Eleni.

**Bri:** Other than that.

**Scott:** Avoid you.

**James:** I don't like that plan. Last time I avoided Bri, she wouldn't pay for me to go to the movies for two weeks. And we saw three movies!

**Claire:** Oh, poor you.

**James:** Yeah.

**Luke:** Seriously, what are we going to do? I'm sick of the basement. It reminds me of our parents. And, our parents remind me of our grandparents. And our grandparents remind me of getting old. And that makes my think that I don't have a girlfriend. I'm gonna get old alone, guys!

**Scott:** See, you could work that to your advantage. You could be a major swinger.

**Melissa:** What's a swinger?

**Claire:** A prostitute.

**Melissa:** What's a prostitute?

**Luke:** Someone who does 'it' for money.

**Melissa:** What's 'it'?

**James:** It's when...

**Bri:** _(cuts off James)_ You're too young to know. Go back to watching Power Rangers.

**Melissa:** It's over.

**Bri:** Then watch something else, like Barney.

**Melissa:** I'm way too old for Barney. I'm going to find mommy and daddy.

**Everyone else:** _(they burst out laughing)_

**James:** Man, I don't even call my dad that.

**Melissa:** Shut up, you loser. Don't you have curling game to go to?

**James:** Damn it, I don't play curling! I play football!

**Claire:** That's even worse. That's just men touching each other for fun.

**James:** You guys are mean.

**Bri:** Yeah, leave James alone. Let's bug Melissa again.

**Melissa:** Bye!_ (she runs up the stairs)_

**Luke:** I know, let's pants somebody from the Checkers club!

**Eleni:**_ (not even looking up from her book)_ Crap.

_(scene cuts and goes to the Hub; Donna and Eric are sitting there, but the Hub is different; it seems to have changed with the times because it's now got a sports theme)_

**Eric:** So, Donna, do you want a burger and fries? _(hopefully)_ Or something?

**Donna:** No! I want a job! I can't believe I didn't get that interview with McMasters!

**Eric:** Okay, okay. We'll come up with a job for you!

**Donna:** Why am I not as good as I thought I would have been by now? I had potential! I could have gone so far, and I blew it off for nothing!

**Eric:** Well, you took care of the kids, and you learned how to cook, and you paid the bills.

**Donna:** But not with my own money! I want to be the primary bread-winner! And I can't seem to be able to do that without a job! I should have become a business woman, or something when I was younger. Or politics or something that I'm good at.

**Eric:** Well, _(looking at the signs around him)_ you could get into politics. There's a vote for mayor in June. You could run a campaign and stuff!

**Donna:** _(excited)_ Yeah! I could get everyone to believe that feminism is the answer!

**Eric:** But, women get jobs now. They don't all stay home.

**Donna:** Did you know that their wages start out lower than the average male? Yeah, not fair, huh. That's why my campaign is only going to have women in it. From all ages, so I can represent everything, and everybody.

**Eric:** _(worried)_ But, I wanted to...

**Donna:** _(cuts him off)_ No. this is for women only.

**Eric:** But...

**Donna:** No.

_(scene cuts to Jackie and Hyde's house, just down the street from Red and Kitty; Jackie, Hyde and Coven are sitting in the living room)_

**Jackie:** Coven, you can't just slack in school. See this paper? This is the note that I took from your principal when he said that you were failing in every course except Art. And trust me, you will not go anywhere in art. Especially if you only have one point higher than a failing mark. Do you not go to class?

**Coven:** Sorry.

**Hyde:** Sometimes, sorry isn't good enough. You're doing an extra year of highschool because you didn't graduate last year. So, you're grounded.

**Coven:** What? You can't ground me. You're not my father. I don't even know my father; all I know is that his name is Dave. And fat chance of me finding him on my own. All I want to do is meet him. Why can't I do that?

**Jackie:** You can't do that because your father is an inconsiderate jerk, and I don't want him to know you!

**Coven:** Well, what if I don't want to know you?_ (he storms out of the room)_

**Jackie:**_ (as soon as Coven has left, Jackie bursts into tears)_ Why Steven? Why can't he just believe me about his father? Why does have to be so much like him?

**Hyde:** I don't know._ (Melissa enters the room)_

**Melissa:** Hi mommy! Hi daddy!_ (she notices that Jackie is wiping back tears)_ What's wrong mommy? Is it Coven again?

**Jackie:** It's nothing honey. Just, go play with your brother and sister at the Forman's, okay?

**Melissa:** I can't, they're making fun of me again.

**Hyde:** Well, you're a tough cookie. You can take it.

**Melissa:** But, I don't know what to say back. I don't know as many things to say.

**Hyde:** Come here, Missy. Say this: _(he whispers something in her ear)_. Do you think that will work?

**Melissa:** _(she grins)_ Yeah. Thank you daddy! _(she gives her parents a kiss, and runs out)_

**Jackie:** Why couldn't Coven be like that?_ (she starts to cry again)_

**Hyde:** _(hugging Jackie)_ Because he's a man. It doesn't work that way. _(the phone starts ringing)_

**Jackie:** Well it should._ (she gets the phone off the coffee table)_ Hello? Oh, hi Donna. Eww, Mayor? But why? You need my help? Now? Umm, okay. _(she hangs up)_

**Hyde:** What was that?

**Jackie:** Apparently, Donna's running for mayor!

**Hyde:** Didn't see that one coming.

**Jackie:** I've gotta go. I think I just agreed to be part of her party.

**Hyde:** Wow. Okay.

**Jackie:** See you, then. _(she grabs her coat, and walks out the door)_

**Hyde:** Yeah. See you.

_(scene cuts and goes to commercial; new scene opens in the Forman kitchen with Bri and James standing there, kissing)_

**Bri:** Mmm, that's so good!

**James:** Yeah._ (Jackie and Donna walk in)_

**Jackie:** Get off my daughter!

**Bri:** Mom! We were just kissing, it's not illegal.

**Jackie:** Well, as soon as Donna becomes mayor, it will be.

**Bri:** So, kissing will never be illegal! Come one James. Let's go somewhere without annoying mothers._ (she and James leave through the kitchen door)_

**Donna:** Okay, so, I have no idea who else to get to be a part of this party.

**Jackie:** Well, if you wanted people of all ages, you should have the kids!

**Donna:** What?

**Jackie:** Really! It could be you, and me, and Claire, and Bri, and Melissa, and Mrs. Forman! That covers everybody, and you don't have to go through an interview process!

**Donna:** That's great! We can start next week, after I've got a few ideas going.

**Jackie:** Good. Meeting adjourned.

**Donna:** For once, Jackie, I'm in charge. I get to say Meeting adjourned. Yay! Meeting adjourned.

**Jackie:** _(sticks out her tongue at Donna)_

_(scene cuts and goes to the Forman living room, where Red is reading the newspaper, alone)_

**Red:** _(talking to himself)_ Now this is nice. No kids, no dumbasses, and certainly, no foreigners._ (Fez walks in)_

**Fez:** I heard you talking about foreigners, so I see you need me.

**Red:** No, I need you to go away.

**Fez:** I have nothing to do though!

**Red:** Don't you have a wife and a kid?

**Fez:** Yes. But Miranda is out shopping with her friends and Eleni never does anything.

**Red:** Well, go away anyways. _(Kitty walks in the room, but Red doesn't see her)_ This is my only free time away from everybody, and I don't want to spend my time with anybody.

**Kitty:**_ (clearly unhappy overhearing this)_ Well now Red! You can't even spend time with me? What is this world coming to? I'm going to bed for a few days.

**Red:** Kitty, wait! Damn it!_ (to Fez)_ Now see what you did?_ (he runs up the stairs after Kitty)_

**Fez:** Ai._ (he turns on the television and sits down)_

_(scene cuts and goes to Kelso and Brooke's apartment; James is making out with Bri in front of the television and there is a cat in the corner meowing at them)_

**James:** Finally. Privacy to do our favourite thing.

**Bri:** _(stops kissing James)_ No, James. You mean privacy to do your favourite thing. My favourite thing to do is cheerleading. I would have expected you to know that by now! We've been dating for like, two months!

**James:** Oh, I knew that. I just thought that it would have been equal by now because I'm getting so into it because you are so hot and I love you so much!

**Bri:** _(overjoyed)_ Oh James!_ (jumps up and hugs him)_

**James:** _(so that Bri can't see him, he breaths a sigh of relief)_ I know, baby!_ (they start making out again, and they don't notice as Kelso walks in holding Brooke's hand)_

**Brooke:** James!

**James:** _(breaking off of Bri, who looks extremely disappointed)_ What?

**Brooke:** I don't want any of that in my house!

**James:** Fine. _(he watches Brooke go to her room)_

**Kelso:** _(quietly to James)_ You can keep going, I'll have her busy for, _(he looks at his watch)_ about twenty minutes._ (he follows Brooke to her room)_

**Bri:** Eww!

**James:** Okay. Come on, baby. _(they start making out again)_

_(scene cuts and goes to commercial; credits start in Eric and Donna's bedroom a block over from Red and Kitty's house; Donna is sitting on her bed with a pen in her hand, and a notebook lying open in front of her)_

**Donna:**_ (it's her voice, but she is writing in the notebook, so it's not actually spoken)_ 'Ideas for feminism'. No. Not professional enough. 'Reasons why feminism should be acknowledged'. No way! Acknowledged is way too understated. Umm. Crap, this is hard! 'Reasons why women vote Donna Forman'. Yes! That's it! Okay, so why should women vote Donna Forman? Because, she's a strong, independent woman, and isn't afraid to voice her opinions. Good. Wait! Oh, God. I need men to vote for me too! It's alright, Donna. Men could vote for Donna Forman because she's...HOT! That's it! I'm forty years old, and I've still got it! Alright! Hot Donna is back in business! Whoa, that sounded totally wrong. I'm only in business for Eric. But still, this could work to my advantage. Being a woman rocks!


	3. Love Shack

**Love Shack** –B52s

_Disclaimer: I do not own That 70s Show or any of it's characters, but I do own the rights to this story, and my added characters, and it's new plot. So please, do not sue me or anything because by rights, I didn't do anything wrong._

_(the scene starts out in Luke's bedroom while he is watching Star Wars Episode 1 while lying on his bed; and he is immersed in the movie)_

**Luke:** _(imitating Queen Amidala)_ Although we do not always agree, Your Honour, our two great societies have always lived in peace. The Trade Federation as destroyed all that we have worked so hard to build. If we do not act quickly, all will be lost forever. I ask you to help us...no, I beg you to help us. _(he strays from the imitation)_ Man, if I had her begging me to help her, I'd..._ (he is cut off by Claire and Scott walking in and grinning)_

**Claire:** What would you do, Luke?

**Luke:** _(thinking quickly)_ I'd tell her to go away, that's for sure.

**Scott:** _(raising his eyebrows)_ See, I would have believed you, but you've got the model of her in your hand right now, and I've gotta say, it's pretty close to your pants.

**Luke:** _(pulling the model away from him and placing it carefully on his bed)_ I was just fixing it. Her arm fell off.

**Scott:** And how on earth did that happen?

**Luke:** _(quickly)_ I don't know.

**Claire:** Okay, I'm leaving. Scott, you can stay, but I'm not sure what Luke does on his own. And if I were you, I wouldn't come within a foot of that model.

**Scott:** Good advice babe. I'll see you later._ (he kisses Claire, and she leaves the room; Scott approaches Luke's bed, eyeing the model)_ So. You've finally found a chick you like?

**Luke:** Yeah.

**Scott:** Too bad she's fictional.

**Luke:** Yeah.

**Scott:** You really do need a chick.

**Luke:** Yeah.

**Scott:** I'm gonna hook you up with one.

**Luke:** Yeah...what?

**Scott:** Seriously, man. You're always alone. And I can only assume that when you're alone, you are playing with models of Queen Amidala, and to be frank, that's creepy. Plus, you're going to college next year, so you need a chick. Because trust me, there's no way you're going to end up with a college chick.

**Luke:** _(indignant)_ It's possible! I'm nice. And I'm smart, and I've got a good personality.

**Scott:** Okay. _(counting on his fingers)_ You're nice. You've sort of got some kind of a brain. But man, you are a super geek. I mean, Star Wars? You need to see the Matrix.

**Luke:** But, Star Wars is a classic!

**Scott:** So is the Matrix. Come on. I'll show you. And, I'm gonna find you a chick.

**Luke:** For the last time, I don't need...

**Scott:** Yes you do.

_(scene cuts and re-opens while Luke and Scott are watching the Matrix; Scott is now mouthing the words to what Trinity is saying)_

**Scott:** _(silently mouthing the words)_ I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing...why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him.

**Luke:** _(staring open-mouthed at Trinity)_ She's almost as hot as Queen Amidala!

**Scott:**_ (looking away from the television)_ No, man. She's hotter.

**Luke:** Well, I think they should get together and have a huge topless pillow fight.

**Scott:** _(staring at the television again) _Yeah. That'd be awesome.

**Luke:** Yeah. That'd be so cool. _(looking at Scott)_ How much do you wanna bet that our dads would love this movie?

**Scott:** A lot. How much do you wanna bet that they've already watched it and have discussed a topless pillow fight between Trinity and Queen Amidala?

**Luke:** Nah. They're too lame for that.

_(scene cuts and it shows Eric and Hyde watching the Matrix)_

**Eric:** Man, Hyde, wouldn't it be awesome if there was a movie with Queen Amidala and Trinity in it?

**Hyde:** Yeah. It'd be better if in the movie, they were having a topless pillow fight. It'd be even better if Jeannie was in it too.

**Eric:** We should find Luke and Scott and force them to watch this with us.

**Hyde:** Ah, quality time with the kids. I think I'll pass.

**Eric:** I guess. _(suddenly starts to laugh)_ I'm still picturing the pillow fight.

_(scene cuts and the theme song starts)_

_(the next scene opens in Red and Kitty's basement; the new gang is there, along with a bunch of girls gossiping and pointing at James and Scott, but none are even looking at Luke)_

**Scott:** See, Luke, there are chicks that like you. That one over there is pointing at you.

**Luke:** No. She's pointing at you. And see? Now she's making weird motions. Disgusting motions, actually. Let's get her out of here.

**James:** Don't worry. I'll take care of her. _(he turns around and cups his hands around his mouth and yells)_ Bri! Dirty straggler!

**Bri:** _(hurries over to James)_ Which one?

**James: **The fat one with freckles.

**Bri:** _(looks over her shoulder)_ Eww! I don't wanna go near her!

**James:** Well, neither do I! She might take away from my awesome looks!

**Bri:** Well, she'd take away from mine too!

**James:** We're too hot for her. _(they start making out, and the girl is forgotten)_

**Luke:** Okay. We've gotta do something about her. This is getting gross.

**Scott:** Yeah.

**Luke:** I don't want to do it. You should. You're better at this than me.

**Scott:** You see, Luke, I would, but she's making those motions at me. And if I go near her, I can't help it if she touches me, and seriously, I don't want her touching me. Especially if she's making dirty motions.

**Luke:** Fine. I'll call Claire. _(yelling)_ Claire! Come here!_ (Claire walks over, rolling her eyes)_

**Claire:** What do you want, dweebo?

**Luke:** I want you to ask Mrs. Disgustington to leave and stay at least 10 miles from Scott at all times.

**Claire:** Sorry, Lukey-boy, no can do.

**Luke:** Why not?

**Claire:** I don't want to.

**Luke:** But, she's making the gestures towards your boyfriend! Don't you care?

**Claire:** Not really. He's a man, and he can take care of himself._ (Claire walks away)_

**Luke:** Well I want her out!

**Scott:** Okay. Umm, I've got an idea.

**Luke:** To get rid of Mrs. Disgustington?

**Scott:** No. To take over the world.

**Luke:** Really?

**Scott:** I thought we agreed that you were smart.

**Luke:** _(slightly blushing)_ I was kidding.

**Scott:** Whatever. It's time to put my plan into action. _(yelling)_ Melissa!

**Melissa:** _(pushes through a crowd of girls as she runs over to Scott; it takes her a while because she is so short)_ Yup?

**Scott:** I need you to do me a favour.

**Melissa:** Okay. As long as I don't have to talk to Bri, because well, I don't like talking to her.

**Scott:** You don't have to talk to Bri.

**Melissa:** Good. So, how come you need me? I thought I was just your Power Ranger loving little sister.

**Luke:** It is pretty sad that you like the Power Rangers.

**Scott:** _(to Luke)_ Shut up. _(to Melissa)_ I need you to ask that girl over there to leave._ (he points to the girl, who is still making signals to Scott)_

**Melissa:** _(she looks at the girl)_ What's she doing?

**Scott:** Remember when dad told you about prostitutes?

**Melissa:** Yeah. That wasn't very pleasant.

**Scott:** Well, that girl there, she is one.

**Melissa:** _(gets a look of horror on her face)_ There's one in grandma and grandpa's house?

**Scott:** Right now there is. That's why I need you to get rid of her.

**Melissa:** _(looks determined, but is biting her lip)_ Okay. I'll do it. _(she covers her eyes, and slowly walks over to the girl)_

**Luke:** _(to Scott)_ Nice. The use of a nine-year old to do your dirty work.

**Scott:** Shut up, man. The only dirty work I have is with your sister.

**Luke:** Crap. Now I've got the mental image stuck in my head again. _(Scott laughs)_

_(scene cuts and goes to Red and Kitty's living room above the party; the whole older gang is there, along with Red, Kitty, Brooke, and Miranda)_

**Kitty:** And then, I told Luke that he could have a couple friends over. I'm sure they're jsut playing music and having a good time down there.

**Red:** It's still too damn loud. Someone had better go down there and tell them to turn down the noise level, or there will be feet shoved up asses.

**Kitty:** Now, I'm sure someone will go. But, I sure don't want to. Haha!

**Red:** Let's send the foreign kid.

**Fez:** Oh, please no. I do not want to be hung to a hook but my underpants again.

**Kitty:** Now Fez, you are a grown man now. They wouldn't do that to you.

**Fez:** They did last week.

**Kitty:** _(looking concerned, but amused at the same time)_ Who did, Fez?

**Fez:** Scott. _(Hyde starts to laugh silently)_

**Jackie:** Well, Fez, we are really sorry about that. Steven! Stop laughing! That is your son down there, probably hanging people from the shower head!

**Hyde:**_ (stops laughing)_ The shower head. Crap, we never thought to hang Fez from that!

**Jackie:** Steven! Just for that, you are going to go down there, and make them be quieter.

**Hyde:** But, I was just...

**Jackie:** Go, or I'll kick you!_ (Hyde frowns, grabs his beer, and goes down the basement stairs out of sight)_

**Kitty:** Well done, Jackie! Haha! I'm getting a drink.

**Kelso:** Oh, Mrs. Forman, can I have one?

**Kitty:** Why, yes you can Michael. You are of age now.

**Red:** Now, Kitty, why would you tell him he can have a drink? Kelso, you can't have a drink. Go home.

**Kelso:** But...

**Red:** Now!

**Kelso:** Fine! _(he gets up to leave)_ Can I have a drink before I go?

**Red:** No! _(he watches Kelso leave, followed by Brooke) _Kick them out one by one. I should have done that years ago.

**Kitty:** That wasn't very nice, Red Forman.

**Red:** Well, I'm not a very nice person, Kitty.

**Kitty:** Nonsense! You are. Haha! You're just tired. You should go have a nap.

**Red:** I don't need a nap, Kitty.

**Kitty:** _(she glares at him)_ Go have a nap._ (Red quickly gets up and runs up the stairs to have a nap)_ Well, that was fun. Haha! I need another drink!

**Miranda:** Well, I'd better get going. I have somewhere better to be. Fez? Come!_ (she and Fez leave quickly)_

**Donna:** _(to Eric; whispering)_ That was smart. Your mom's going to start drinking a lot more, now that Red's not here.

**Eric:** _(a bit too loudly) _Yes. We should have gone while we had the chance. Oh well.

**Kitty:** Eric! When you are talking about your mother, you should be a teensy bit quieter. Now, I know that Donna wouldn't scream at you, and I won't because I'm your mother, but I would strongly suggest that you join Steven in the basement. Now! _(Eric jumps up and runs down to the basement)_

**Kitty:** So, Donna! How's the job hunt going?

**Donna:** Really great! I'm trying to get elected for Mayor of Point Place!

**Jackie:** Yeah, and I'm helping her make signs!

**Kitty:** Now, that's an idea. I wish I could help you out somehow, Donna! We do need a new Mayor. We've had ours since the early '80s, and he's not nearly as handsome as he used to be.

**Donna:** Okay. Well, you can help me, Mrs. Forman! You can be part of my party!

**Kitty:** Ooh! Can I be in charge of refreshments?

**Donna:** Well, it's not really that kind of party, but you can bring refreshments to the meetings.

**Kitty:** Okay! I'll be part of your _(in quotations)_ party! Yay! _(she claps her hands and gets really excited)_ I'm going to get a bottle of champagne!

**Jackie:** It's okay, Mrs. Forman. We've had enough to drink already.

**Kitty:** Well, I'm just going to sit down for a minute then. Haha!

_(scene cuts to the basement where Hyde and Eric are standing on the stairs staring at the party, where nobody seems to notice them)_

**Eric:** Wow. Nobody's hanging by the shower head, but there are an awful lot of young ladies in here with their shirts down low. _(he notices the girl making gestures)_ Oh God, Hyde! What is she doing?

**Hyde:** I don't know. _(he sees Melissa walking in her direction; she has not gotten to the girl yet)_ Crap! I can't let my nine-year-old talk to that girl! Look out Forman, this is where I get to pretend that I know what I'm doing as a dad. _(he pushes Eric out of the way as he dashes down the stairs towards the girl and Melissa who has just gotten to the weird girl)_ Melissa! Stay where you are!

**Melissa:** Daddy! I was just...

**Hyde:** _(to the weird girl)_ Excuse me. What do you think you're doing?

**Girl:** _(looks Hyde up and down and wrinkles her nose)_ Nothing.

**Hyde:** Then why are you making those gestures in the direction of..._(he looks over his shoulder to where she is making the gestures)_ MY SON!

**Girl:** I'm not making gestures.

**Hyde:** You're still making them.

**Girl:** Oops.

**Hyde:** Get out of here. _(when she doesn't move, he takes a step towards her, she gives a shriek, and runs out of the room)_ Melissa. Why were you going to talk to her?

**Melissa:** _(looks nervously behind her at Scott who is quickly running to hide behind James and Bri, closely followed by Luke)_ I was gonna ask her to leave.

**Hyde:** _(he narrows his eyes, and suddenly yells really loud)_ Everybody SHUT UP!

_(scene cuts and goes to commercial; scene re-opens in the basement with Hyde standing very still in the very quiet basement, and Eric, who is now standing beside him)_

**Hyde:** What is going on down here?_ (when nobody answers, Hyde looks around the room for people that he knows)_ Ah. Bri. What's going on?

**Bri:** _(quickly breaks away from James)_ I don't know dad. I was with James the whole time. We didn't do 'it', I swear!

**Hyde:** How about you, Scott?

**Melissa:** I don't know. I just came down here, and there was a party, so I was walking around, and I talked to Scott and his friends, and I was just going to see the girl that you kicked out. _(she looks really scared)_ I'm sorry daddy! I didn't know it was bad!

**Hyde:** _(he closes his eyes)_ Fine. Melissa, I want you to go upstairs and sit with your mom, and not tell her anything about this.

**Melissa:** But what if she asks?

**Hyde:** Tell her that I will tell her later.

**Melissa:** Okay daddy. _(she gives a nervous glance around, and runs up the stairs)_

**Eric:** Claire. What is going on?

**Claire:** I dunno. Why don't you ask James?

**Hyde:** James? I know you aren't my son, but your father would probably let you do something like this, so I'm going to pretend that I am your father at the moment. What is going on down here?

**James:** _(clearly terrified of Hyde; he stands up straight with his hands at his sides and says loudly and clearly)_ I don't know sir!

**Eric:** Well, Luke? Do you know? You are almost 18 years old, and I would expect you to tell me the truth all the time.

**Luke:** I know, but I don't feel comfortable telling you in front of the girls, and any of the Hyde because they would probably kick my ass. _(Scott snickers and is quickly silenced by a piercing glare form Hyde)_

**Eric:** Okay! We'll talk later.

**Hyde:** _(to Eric) _That's not it Forman. There is one more person that I would like to question.

**Eric:** Who? Scott? Because you know as well as I do, that Scott is either not going to tell you, or is going to lie about what is going on here.

**Hyde:** I realize that. I meant Eleni.

**Scott:** Eleni?

**Hyde:** Eleni.

**Eleni:** _(looking up from her book for the first time during the party)_ Yes?

**Hyde:** Do you happen to know what is going on here?

**Eleni:** _(smugly)_ Actually, I do. You see, for the last few weeks, we've been getting quite bored around here, especially Luke because he's single. So, Scott hree decided to intervene, and hosted a party in Mr. and Mrs. Forman's basement to set him up with a girl. _(Scott looks furious; Luke looks freaked out; and everyone else is silent)_

**Hyde:** _(starts laughing)_ That's it?

**Scott:** Yeah.

**Eric:** _(joins Hyde in his laughter)_ Wow. That was the angriest I've ever seen Hyde, and it was just because my son's a loser who can't find himself a date? Man, Luke, I could have found you a date. I have good connections at the school I work at, they all have older sisters!

**Luke:** I guess.

**Hyde: **Everybody out. _(all of the guests to the party leave)_

**Scott:** Really, dad? That's it?

**Hyde:** Did you find Luke a girl?

**Scott:** No.

**Hyde:** Then that's not it for you. You failed finding your geek friend a chick, and there was a room full of single women. You're grounded.

**Scott:** That's totally unfair!

**Hyde:** So's the fact that I ended up with a cheerleader. Now, go to your room.

_(scene cuts and goes to commercial; credits start with Hyde, Eric, Kelso and Fez sitting in a circle in Red and Kitty's basement) _

**Hyde:** Man, today I stopped a party. Now, I feel like a real dad. Not that my real dad ever did that, or even a fake dad, but you know. I stopped a party!

**Eric:** Hey, I was there with you! I helped! _(he pauses)_ Forget it. I didn't do anything.

**Kelso:** _(laughing)_ Wouldn't it be awesome if one of the kids found out that we broke into Scott's stash and smoked it?

**Fez:** Not really. My Miranda would kill me. She is incredibly bitchy.

**Hyde:** I know man. I hear you. Jackie is incredibly bitchy too. It's like it's a thing that women have to be.

**Eric:** Yeah. Donna's a lot happier now that she's got something to do though.

**Kelso:** Donna's also a lot hotter now that she's happy.

**Eric:** I know! It's great when she's happy.

**Hyde:** Yeah, man, the circle is great. Life is great. I grounded my son. That was great.

**Fez:** I have never had to ground Eleni. She is perfect.

**Eric:** She ratted out our kids. She is not perfect.

**Kelso:** I ate a rat once.


End file.
